All the Time and Opportunity and None of the Drive

I'm posting just because I need to post something tonight, because I have the time to do it and because it's the first of the month, and I was less reliable with doing so throughout the month of July. Unfortunately, I really don't have anything to write.

Sitting in the Lambda meeting tonight, I was reminded to journal and I was reminded to pray. Every Thursday night, it seems as if I'm reminded of all the things I really ought to be doing more regularly, more diligently, but I seem to keep putting to the side to waste some time doing whatever it is that I do to waste time when I have it to waste. I think I've lost a little of the zip and zest that I had going for me for so long, and I don't really know why. The peaks that existed for a quite a while during the first 17 months of sobriety have sort of leveled off. I suppose I should be grateful that there are no valleys. Everything is just status quo and at a straight C average. I want some of that pep back in my step.

I told Brodie that I was going to use my time tonight to write. I've got a blank canvas staring at me from across the room. I have a stack of ninth step financials that I need to review and get busy addressing. I haven't moved forward on compiling anything of any sort of merit for my articles on local hauntings, folklore, and legends since hearing the news that the publication for which I was so excited to write has temporarily folded in an effort to regroup and rethink and (hopefully, in one month's time) reopen for business. 

I think that was the last good news that I had. Not the closing of the paper, but the news that I would be published, that my writing was being accepted and admired. The first issue that was to show my work was the one that was meant to come out the day before we departed for the LASCYPAA conference, which -ironically- was also the point at which I realized a certain stagnation exists in where I am in my recovery.

I've been here before. I think what I need is a good, long weekend away from everything other than some rest, some reading, some writing, and some personal creative stimulation. That's what's always worked like a charm in the past. Might as well look forward to it again.

Now, where's that Brodilific dude who sleeps over here. I've got the sheets and blankets all washed and ready to slip into...