It seems to have taken months. Between work and school and doctor's visits and all the other things that always seem to conspire in my life and prevent me from focusing on the stuff I really need to be doing, I haven't been working on my own personal step work as much as I would have liked to. However, when the pain of remaining the same becomes greater than your fear of change, it's time to pick up a pen and write it all down.
Finally, I'm glad to be finished with this one. Another admission of powerlessness, a further look at aspects of unmanageability present in my life even today. Just waiting to hear back from the sponsor with how we'll proceed.
I have to admit that I was moved by last night's meeting. Listening to two people for whom I have a great amount of respect tell the stories about what life was like, what happened, and how things have changed since, I told myself that I needed to pick up the notebook and get busy answering those last questions as quickly as possible.
This is a different set of questions than those to which I am accustomed.... the old white notes that were copied and passed around from city to city and state to state when people were still getting "blacktop recovery." I'm excited now, and I'm eager to move on. Can't wait to see what else the pages have in store for me.
Ending the day... at roughly eight in the morning... watching The Golden Girls (have you noticed that it's now on like 24 hours a day between all the channels that air re-runs?) and noticing that Mary Louise is acting even more strangely today... wonder if she needs to go have an assessment at the puppy psych facility. She appears to be having some kind of neurotic issues presenting these days.
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