Currently reading: Mostly Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, but a little Weird Washington mixed in.
Level of happiness: Happily content with the day.
Highlights from the day: Working on my step with Brennan at North Town Coffee. On the phone with my sponsor. A long conversation with Melinda. Conchita's voice message. And now, relaxing on the couch and maybe writing a little.
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A little step work is all the rejuvenation I need. And probably at just the right time because even I think these blog posts have gotten increasingly boring. No personality and not really much creativity. Formulaic and sour.
My head's filling up with ideas for stories I want to write. The creative fiction sort, not the ones that suck me dry at work. The only creativity I get to exert at work is after I've been otherwise sucked dry by the time-consuming slave labor that comes along with stroking egos and spending way too much time filling in the blanks. A little resentful? Maybe just a little, but the resentment was earned on this one. Justifiable resentments, in other words. But are those even things? These are the things my sponsor will make me pray about.
I didn't watch a movie last night, and I was prepared to fully focus my blog on horror movies for a while. For whatever reason, though, at the end of the day when I sit down to type out another post, I don't feel the creative juices really flowing. Oh, I've got all sorts of ideas and all these thoughts about what I'd like to do here, but the energy level is nil (a little less than zero, actually).
I keep hoping that if I stick with daily posting, writing something away from the crap I'm told to, the energy soon will come and I'll start pounding out some stuff that's really meaningful. It just hasn't happened yet.
So, what am I thinking about? That Timothy Hutton — from Ordinary People all the way to the fairly recent past — is a really sexy guy and probably would be a lot of fun to make out with. I mean, I'm watching The Dark Half (which doesn't count towards the movie endeavor because I've already seen it a time or two and I've blogged about it before), so he's right there for me to look at and have these sort of random thoughts about.
I deleted my Grindr, so maybe I need to download it again. It could be that these odd and slightly out of context thoughts are because none of my sexual energy is really channeled anywhere lately. Or it could be that I ought to re-channel that energy into my creative writing. But then again, there's that whole energy level thing.
Well, it's nearly 9:30 p.m. Labor Day and I haven't spent all that much time laboring today, unless one counts working through quite a bit on my step and having something of a breakthrough that had me calling my sponsor — that's something that hasn't happened in a long time.
Maybe I'll eat and stay up late and read Frankenstein and watch movies. Maybe I'll open a blank document here and get something actually typed out that I'll feel good about. That's something that hasn't happened in a long time either.
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